How Do I Help My Wife Orgasm Again?

She’s not broken. You’re just overdue for an update.

From: A Married Man Trying to Get It Right — 42, Auckland

Dear Eyeball,

I’ve been married sixteen years. Sex has always been good, but lately I can tell my wife never reaches orgasm with me anymore. Not emotionally — technically. She still wants sex, still initiates, still says she enjoys it, but her body doesn’t always follow.

I know she can get there on her own. I just don’t seem to help her get there as often as I used to.

Here’s what I’m too embarrassed to ask her:

How do I learn her body again without making her feel like I’ve been doing it wrong for years?

I don’t want to hurt her feelings or make her think I’ve been ignoring her needs. I just want her to feel the pleasure she deserves — and I want to stop pretending I haven’t noticed the change.

Where do I even start?

— Trying to Be a Better Lover

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